Master of All Things Web

September 27, 2005

The obvious answer is bed...but read on for the surprise ending!

A friend of mine was going through a bunch of interview questions she found online. One of the questions was “What type of furniture would you like to be and why?”

Her answer was a coffee table, because she can be where the action and conversation are, but without the dirty work of being the couch.

My answer?

A bookcase. Because then ignorant people would never bother me.

September 7, 2005

Sorry ma'am, I'm spent!

I am so physically, emotionally, and mentally drained over this whole Katrina nightmare. I spent most of my Labor Day weekend helping family members. Here's my story...

On Friday I took the day off to go search for my missing Grandparents that live in Long Beach, MS. They had not been heard from since the storm and no one could get in the city to look for them. I wish a mutha f*cka would tell me that I can't come into the city to look for my 70-something year old grandparents! My pimp hand is WAY strong!

As I was loading the truck to make the journey over there, I got a call from my aunt that lives in Hattiesburg. The MS State Police had escorted her to my grandparent's house and found them there. They were fine, just a little dehydrated and worn out. Keep in mind that my grandmother has just recently beat cancer, so she isn't the strongest right now. They were taken to Hattiesburg to stay with my aunt until I could pick them up the next day to stay in the luxurious Harbaugh Hotel.

I was requested to bring as much gas and water as possible to Hattiesburg. I spent all day that Friday stocking up on gas. I gathered around 100 gallons of gas and 50 gallons of water to take up there. I had to bring an armed escort with me since this cargo had a street value of over $10,000, I shit you not!

Now my grandparents are living with me. I almost threw up yesterday when I got home when I saw the granny panties hanging in my bathroom. Not cool. We just got word last night that their power and water are back on at their house so I'm not sure if they'll be staying much longer.

Now for my sister's story of NOLA. Her house is on the West Bank. Her fence blew down...and that's all!!! Nothing was wrong with her house, no flooding, no leaks, no nothing. They even have power and water, but no sewer. She has moved to Mobile to have her baby which is due in a couple of weeks since they don't have any grocery stores or gas over there. Also, the escaped prisoners are heading to her neighborhood right now to rob and pillage, so it's best that she stay here under the protective watch of her big brother!

So it seems as though I was on a constant adrenaline rush this weekend in order to take care of all my family obligations, and now I need to crash. Stick a fork in me I'm done!