The art of looking busy

If you are anything like me, you really don't feel like working most of the time. I have devised a list of things to do that will make you look really busy without actually getting a single iota of work done. By using the below listed items, I was given an assistant to handle some of my workload (yes, I am dead serious), and now she actually completes the majority of my work while I get credit for it!

1. Walk really fast when you are going anywhere as to appear that you have somewhere important to be. Do this even if you are going to the breakroom for coffee.

2. Carry a notebook with you while walking down the hallway. An open file folder will work as well. Study the notebook or folder intently as you walk, or at least while walking by the boss’s office.

3. Make copies of something at various times throughout the day. I usually keep an old TPS report lying around just for this purpose. Use this is combination with #1 for added effect.

4. Randomly curse when someone walks by your desk. Make sure that you are looking intently at a piece of paper, or the computer screen. Shaking your head is a nice added effect.

5. Shuffle papers around on your desk. It helps to have a mountain of paperwork on your desk to make it more realistic.

6. Look pissed off. "The damn clients are never satisfied!" This and #4 go together like strippers and STDs.

7. Chat with your friends via instant messengers all day. I concurrently use Gtalk, MSN Messenger, Yahoo Messenger, and AIM. The furious typing that I do to keep up with my friends resonates to other people who then think that you are insanely busy!

8. Have your friends call your office number, so that you can close your office door for this “important business call”. Never talk on your cell phone while at work…it’s a dead giveaway.

9. Stay a little bit late one night a week so that everyone thinks that you are a hard worker and trying to get work done. In reality you will be on MySpace, Facebook, eBay, etc.

10. Finally, if you are still looking for ways to look busy, try using the forms found here to kill some time.